After one of his [Hubert Humphrey] long-winded harangues I suggested he had probably been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. He responded by saying that I would have been a great success in the movies working for Eighteenth Century-Fox.
– Barry M. Goldwater
Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.
– Barry M. Goldwater
I could have ended the war in a month. I could have made North Vietnam look like a mud puddle.
– Barry M. Goldwater
I won't say that the papers misquote me, but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be today if some of those reporters had been Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
– Barry M. Goldwater
I wouldn't trust Nixon from here to that phone.
– Barry M. Goldwater
If everybody in this town connected with politics had to leave town because of chasing women and drinking, you would have no government.
– Barry M. Goldwater
If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.
– Barry M. Goldwater
It's a great country, where anybody can grow up to be president... except me.
– Barry M. Goldwater
It's political Daddyism and it's as old as demagogues and despotism.
– Barry M. Goldwater
Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people and the world.
– Barry M. Goldwater
The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.
– Barry M. Goldwater
The only summit meeting that can succeed is the one that does not take place.
– Barry M. Goldwater
To disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable.
– Barry M. Goldwater
To insist on strength is not war-mongering. It is peace-mongering.
– Barry M. Goldwater
When I'm not a politician, I'll be dead.
– Barry M. Goldwater
You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.
– Barry M. Goldwater
You've got to forget about this civilian. Whenever you drop bombs, you're going to hit civilians.
– Barry M. Goldwater
A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have.
– Barry M. Goldwater
Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice; moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.