A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
– Bill Vaughan
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
– Bill Vaughan
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
– Bill Vaughan
By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
– Bill Vaughan
I'm an actor. And I guess I've done so many movies I've achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant.
– Bill Vaughan
In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
– Bill Vaughan
It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.
– Bill Vaughan
It's hard for the modern generation to understand Thoreau, who lived beside a pond but didn't own water skis or a snorkel.
– Bill Vaughan
Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.
– Bill Vaughan
Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed.
– Bill Vaughan
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
– Bill Vaughan
People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong.
– Bill Vaughan
The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.
– Bill Vaughan
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.
– Bill Vaughan
The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.
– Bill Vaughan
To God, thy country, and thy friend be true.
– Bill Vaughan
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
– Bill Vaughan
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
