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Quotes by Bill Watterson

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
– Bill Watterson
Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.
– Bill Watterson
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
– Bill Watterson
If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
– Bill Watterson
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
– Bill Watterson
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
– Bill Watterson
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
– Bill Watterson
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
– Bill Watterson
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
– Bill Watterson
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
– Bill Watterson
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
– Bill Watterson
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!?
– Bill Watterson
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
– Bill Watterson
People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
– Bill Watterson
Reality continues to ruin my life.
– Bill Watterson
Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
– Bill Watterson
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
– Bill Watterson
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
– Bill Watterson
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
– Bill Watterson
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
– Bill Watterson
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
– Bill Watterson
So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.
– Bill Watterson
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.
– Bill Watterson
Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
– Bill Watterson
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
– Bill Watterson