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Quotes by Carol Burnett


Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
– Carol Burnett
Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
– Carol Burnett
Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.
– Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
– Carol Burnett
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
– Carol Burnett
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
– Carol Burnett
I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.
– Carol Burnett
I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
– Carol Burnett
This is to explain just how your mom turned out to be the kind of hairpin she is.
– Carol Burnett
When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
– Carol Burnett
You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.
– Carol Burnett
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
– Carol Burnett
We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
– Carol Burnett
My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
– Carol Burnett
My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
– Carol Burnett
It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
– Carol Burnett
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
– Carol Burnett
I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
– Carol Burnett
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
– Carol Burnett
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
– Carol Burnett