I am not a politician, and my other habits air good.
– Charles Farrar Browne
I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
– Charles Farrar Browne
Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.
– Charles Farrar Browne
My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.
– Charles Farrar Browne
The happy married man dies in good stile at home, surrounded by his weeping wife and children. The old bachelor don't die at all - he sort of rots away, like a pollywog's tail.
– Charles Farrar Browne
They drink with impunity, or anybody who invites them.
– Charles Farrar Browne
Why don't you show us a statesman who can rise up to the emergency, and cave in the emergency's head.