Going to war was the only unselfish thing I have ever done for humanity.
– David Niven
I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet.
– David Niven
I make two movies a year to take care of the butcher and the baker and the school fees. Then I try to write, but it's not that easy. Acting is what's easy.
– David Niven
I see my purpose in life as making the world a happier place to be in .
– David Niven
I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
– David Niven
I've been lucky enough to win an Oscar, write a bestseller.. my other dream would be to have a painting in the Louvre. The only way that's going to happen is if I paint a dirty one on the wall of the gentlemen's lavatory.
– David Niven
If I wasn't an actor I'd be unemployable, or at best the secretary to a golf club somewhere. Nine holes at that, and blue in the face with port.
– David Niven
Keep the circus going inside you, keep it going, don't take anything too seriously, it'll all work out in the end.
– David Niven
Malta is a sod of a place.
– David Niven
Old age has got to start creeping up on me one day soon, and frankly I'm very scared. I don't want to be old. I've always felt so young. And I want to stay that way.
– David Niven
The only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping and showing off his shortcomings.
– David Niven
This is a terrible confession to make, but after I left the Army I had a number of things to try. I had a great conceit to think that if all else failed I could always go to Hollywood. So when all else did fail I really went to Hollywood. And then I found out how wrong I was.
– David Niven
Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life.
– David Niven
You can count on Errol Flynn, he'll always let you down.