America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.
– Dick Gregory
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
– Dick Gregory
I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
– Dick Gregory
In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
– Dick Gregory
In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.
– Dick Gregory
Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
– Dick Gregory
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.
– Dick Gregory
We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
– Dick Gregory
When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.
– Dick Gregory
You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
– Dick Gregory
You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven't got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need, you can't be white.
– Dick Gregory
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
– Dick Gregory
When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
– Dick Gregory
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
– Dick Gregory
People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
– Dick Gregory
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
– Dick Gregory
Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.
– Dick Gregory
It's cool to be healthy.
– Dick Gregory
I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.
– Dick Gregory
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.