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Quotes by Evan Esar

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
– Evan Esar
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
– Evan Esar
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
– Evan Esar
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
– Evan Esar
Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
– Evan Esar
You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
– Evan Esar
Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
– Evan Esar
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
– Evan Esar
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
– Evan Esar
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
– Evan Esar