American couples have gone to such lengths to avoid the interference of in-laws that they have to pay marriage counselors to interfere between them.
– Florence King
Americans worship creativity the way they worship physical beauty - as a way of enjoying elitism without guilt: God did it.
– Florence King
Chinks in America's egalitarian armor are not hard to find. Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.
– Florence King
During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.
– Florence King
Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
– Florence King
Owning your own home is America's unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time.
– Florence King
People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they're all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error.
– Florence King
Self-help books are making life downright unsafe. Women desperate to catch a man practice all the ploys recommended by these authors. Bump into him, trip over him, knock him down, spill something on him, scald him, but meet him.
– Florence King
Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.
– Florence King
The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
– Florence King
Those colorful denizens of male despair, the Bowery bum and the rail-riding hobo, have been replaced by the bag lady and the welfare mother. Women have even taken over Skid Row.
– Florence King
True nostalgia is an ephemeral composition of disjointed memories.
– Florence King
I'd rather rot on my own floor than be found by a bunch of bingo players in a nursing home.
– Florence King
He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.