My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.
– Joel McHale
In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!
– Joel McHale
If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.