But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
– Joseph Heller
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
– Joseph Heller
Every writer I know has trouble writing.
– Joseph Heller
Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
– Joseph Heller
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
– Joseph Heller
He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
– Joseph Heller
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
– Joseph Heller
Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
– Joseph Heller
I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
– Joseph Heller
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
– Joseph Heller
Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more.
– Joseph Heller
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
– Joseph Heller
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.
– Joseph Heller
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
– Joseph Heller
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
– Joseph Heller
When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, Who has?
– Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
– Joseph Heller
Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
– Joseph Heller
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.