A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
– Kenneth Tynan
A good drama critic is one who perceives what is happening in the theatre of his time. A great drama critic also perceives what is not happening.
– Kenneth Tynan
A good many inconveniences attend playgoing in any large city, but the greatest of them is usually the play itself.
– Kenneth Tynan
An office block made of prestressed celery.
– Kenneth Tynan
Art is a private thing, the artist makes it for himself; a comprehensible work is the product of a journalist. We need works that are strong, straight, precise, and forever beyond understanding.
– Kenneth Tynan
I just stopped playing bitches on wheels and peoples' mothers. I have only a few more years to kick up my heels!
– Kenneth Tynan
No theater could sanely flourish until there was an umbilical connection between what was happening on the stage and what was happening in the world.
– Kenneth Tynan
Not content to have the audience in the palm of his hand, he goes one further and clinches his fist.
– Kenneth Tynan
Pearl is a disease of oysters. Levant is a disease of Hollywood.
– Kenneth Tynan
The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential orifice, these pointless globes are as near as the human form can ever come to abstract art.
– Kenneth Tynan
The sheer complexity of writing a play always had dazzled me. In an effort to understand it, I became a critic.
– Kenneth Tynan
The vengeful hag is played by Ingrid Bergman, which is like casting Eleanor Roosevelt as Lizzie Borden.
– Kenneth Tynan
What, when drunk, one sees in other women, one sees in Garbo sober.
– Kenneth Tynan
A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping.