A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.
– Kinky Friedman
I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.
– Kinky Friedman
If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.
– Kinky Friedman
If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
– Kinky Friedman
Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
– Kinky Friedman
You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.
– Kinky Friedman
Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.
– Kinky Friedman
We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
– Kinky Friedman
Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.
– Kinky Friedman
No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.
– Kinky Friedman
Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.
– Kinky Friedman
May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
– Kinky Friedman
I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.
– Kinky Friedman
I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
– Kinky Friedman
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
– Kinky Friedman
I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.
– Kinky Friedman
How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?