A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing.
– Lea DeLaria
As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.
– Lea DeLaria
I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!
– Lea DeLaria
I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women.
– Lea DeLaria
It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me.
– Lea DeLaria
No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago.
– Lea DeLaria
Now everyone's decided that all lesbians wear lipstick!
– Lea DeLaria
Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works.
– Lea DeLaria
They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!
– Lea DeLaria
What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.