Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
– Steve Allen
Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
– Steve Allen
If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.
– Steve Allen
If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.
– Steve Allen
In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.
– Steve Allen
Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.