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Quotes by Will Rogers


We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
– Will Rogers

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
– Will Rogers

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
– Will Rogers
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
– Will Rogers
A fool and his money are soon elected.
– Will Rogers
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
– Will Rogers
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
– Will Rogers
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
– Will Rogers
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
– Will Rogers
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
– Will Rogers
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
– Will Rogers
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
– Will Rogers
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
– Will Rogers
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
– Will Rogers
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
– Will Rogers
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
– Will Rogers
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
– Will Rogers
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
– Will Rogers
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
– Will Rogers
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
– Will Rogers
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
– Will Rogers
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
– Will Rogers
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him father.
– Will Rogers
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
– Will Rogers
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
– Will Rogers
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
– Will Rogers
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
– Will Rogers
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
– Will Rogers
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
– Will Rogers
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
– Will Rogers
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
– Will Rogers
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
– Will Rogers
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
– Will Rogers
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
– Will Rogers
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
– Will Rogers
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
– Will Rogers
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
– Will Rogers
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
– Will Rogers
It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline.
– Will Rogers
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
– Will Rogers
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.
– Will Rogers
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
– Will Rogers
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
– Will Rogers
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
– Will Rogers
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
– Will Rogers
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
– Will Rogers
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
– Will Rogers
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
– Will Rogers
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.
– Will Rogers
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
– Will Rogers
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
– Will Rogers
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?
– Will Rogers
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
– Will Rogers
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
– Will Rogers
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
– Will Rogers
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
– Will Rogers
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
– Will Rogers
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
– Will Rogers
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
– Will Rogers
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
– Will Rogers
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
– Will Rogers
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.
– Will Rogers
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?
– Will Rogers
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
– Will Rogers
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
– Will Rogers
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
– Will Rogers
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
– Will Rogers
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
– Will Rogers
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
– Will Rogers
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
– Will Rogers
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
– Will Rogers
I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
– Will Rogers
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
– Will Rogers
We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
– Will Rogers
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
– Will Rogers
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
– Will Rogers
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
– Will Rogers
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
– Will Rogers
Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.
– Will Rogers
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
– Will Rogers
I bet you if I had met him [Trotsky] and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.
– Will Rogers
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
– Will Rogers
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
– Will Rogers
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
– Will Rogers
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
– Will Rogers
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
– Will Rogers
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
– Will Rogers
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
– Will Rogers
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
– Will Rogers
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
– Will Rogers
The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
– Will Rogers
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
– Will Rogers
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
– Will Rogers
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
– Will Rogers
Politics is applesauce.
– Will Rogers
People are getting smarter nowadays they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
– Will Rogers
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
– Will Rogers
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
– Will Rogers
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
– Will Rogers
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
– Will Rogers