Funny Quotes

There were many tough guys to play in the scripts that Warner kept assigning me. Each of my subsequent roles in the hoodlum genre offered the opportunity to inject something new, which I always tired to do. One could be funny, and the next one flat. Some roles were mean, and others were meaner.
– James Cagney
It's kind of weird because in the pictures and stuff they fill in some stuff that they don't like, like your teeth. It's funny when you first see the poster and you want to pick out the stuff that's different, but you get used to it after a while. It's just, oh, that's me! It's kind of cool after a while.
– Anna Chlumsky
Susan Sontag said something really funny... she said to find out that all her art heroes cheated and used aids, lenses and things like that, is like finding out all the great lovers in history used Viagra. And you know that doesn't bother me. I don't care what they used to make whatever they wanted to make.
– Chuck Close
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
– Bill Cosby
To be able to make a good living in a challenging medium like soap operas is great. The best is that I get to act and am rewarded for it. And the people I work with are great. Funny, intelligent, hard working. They're all great to be around.
– David Canary
Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.
– Kathryn Carpenter
No, I always wanted to be a singer. It was kind of funny that I took this road, started acting, then-almost ten years later-in Wayne's World people finally got to see me sing. And everyone thought it was dubbed in.
– Tia Carrere
Seems like I've been here before, can't remember whenI get this funny feeling, we'll be together again;No straight lines make up my life, all my roads have bends;No clearcut beginnings; so far, no dead ends.
– Tom Chapin
Funny, but after trading for more than 15 years, I still am capable of forgetting a cardinal rule: The paper you own, in the end, will be intertwined with the fate of the 30-year bond.
– James Cramer
The funny thing is, the music that I'm writing now is probably some of the most cutting edge we've ever done. The music that I'm thinking about putting on our next album.
– Charlie Daniels
I rejected it many times because I thought it was just another commercial film. Sharon Stone and everything. But then, with one day to decide, I said, 'OK'. I like Sam Raimi and this character's really funny and cool.
– Leonardo DiCaprio
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
– Guy Davenport
Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.
– Will Eisner
Courtney Love is really cool and funny. I would like to meet Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. I think I could play their daughters.
– Dakota Fanning
In the happy scenes there were really fun times. Sean would say really funny stuff because he likes to improv. I would want to laugh, but you are not allowed to do that during the take.
– Dakota Fanning
At first you want to have a reputation as being talented or funny or...you know...special. As you go through it you just the biggest compliment you can get is to be...to get recognized that you're a real pro and consummate professional.
– Jon Favreau
You figure they cheat at the ballpark, they'll cheat on the golf course, they'll cheat in business, and anything else in life. Players may laugh about it and say it's funny, but right down in their heart, they don't think it's funny at all, and they have no respect for a person who cheats.
– Bob Feller
I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on Saturday Night Live and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with Lost in Translation and Rushmore. I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great.
– Will Ferrell
James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
– Will Ferrell
You know, it's funny... when you're making money, people don't think you're playing jazz. Now when you're not making money, people think that you're a good jazz musician.
– Pete Fountain
I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn't pronounce my R's. I wasn't a beauty.
– Brendan Francis
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
– Robert Frost
It's funny how sometimes how the public some people think I was born like this. That I maybe I sleep and I do big muscle, but its a lot of work to look like this and to be in this kind of condition.
– Lou Ferrigno
I really think that sex always looks kind of funny in a movie.
– William Friedkin
Violence is not funny.
– William Friedkin
For comedy to be good, it has to be played straight. And again, the greatest example of this is Lucy Ball. No matter how wild the shows were that we did, no matter how bizarre the situations were, they were never played as if they were funny. They were played like serious incidents of ordinary everyday life. And that's why they are terribly funny and are still considered classic comedies.
– Gale Gordon
Benny Hill's character is this twisted sexual deviant who professes his love for obese women, which I thought was so funny. There was nothing like that in this movie, so I thought it would be fun to play my character as someone who had no social graces, yet was embittered by the fact he was universally refused by women.
– Seth Green
It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny.
– Seth Green
I don't work with high-concept things that start with a premise, Wouldn't it be funny if there was this spy who met a... For me, it could be, What about people who sell shoes? That must be a bizarre world... when they meet at conventions and talk about shoes.
– Christopher Guest
I read a lot. And both of my parents, I think, would have wanted to be writers. It's funny how one ends up doing the things that-that parents-perhaps, the dreams that parents couldn't fulfill. I know that my mother would have been beyond herself to have had a story published in The New Yorker.
– Alma Guillermoprieto
I do like any kind of project that has both comedy and drama in it because in life you don't have one day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic.
– Topher Grace
They were not merely quipsters and storytellers, nor were they only song and dance entertainers. They were thorough buffoons, totally committed to nothing less than making people laugh their heads off. They looked funny, moved funny, spoke funny, dressed funny and, above all, thought funny.
– Stanley Green
It's funny to me that people find other people getting coffee really interesting, or walking their dog in the dog park.
– Jake Gyllenhaal
My heart is so light that it's amazing. I get to play all this grief, all this loss, all this disaster and chaos. It's hysterically funny. I am very light.
– Linda Hamilton
Oh yeah, the funny thing is that all my pictures in the past were all smiley pictures, and it's only been in recent pictures where I've had some where I don't smile.
– Herbie Hancock
If you really look at humor, that's what most of it is anyway. Somebody wisecracking at somebody else. Putting them down. If you look at all the sitcoms, that's all sitcoms are today. Things never change. Sardonic, sarcastic humor is always prevalent. It's hard to do something funny without being that way. It's classier if you didn't have to resort to it, I think.
– Johnny Hart
One of the things that I always sort of pride myself on - although we're not supposed to have pride... is that my sense of humor, if anything, was well-rounded, and you know how I discovered that? It's because everything funny that ever happened to me, or everything that happened to me, made me laugh. If I fell down the stairs I'd lay there and laugh.
– Johnny Hart
I don't see myself as an international megastar. I still put the rubbish out late at night-sometimes in only my underpants. Mind you, nowadays I have a good look around to make sure there is no one there. I just think this whole star thing is a gas and I think the neighbors think it's pretty funny as well. We've got some great neighbors.
– Damon Hill
When I started my program... there was a big clock in the corner and I looked and it said nine o'clock exactly. And it was funny, because when I was standing on the podium, it said exactly 10 p.m., and this whole hour had changed my life.
– Sarah Hughes
My father was extremely loving to me and funny and wise and understanding, and at other times extremely demanding, critical, calculating, exacting. When you're a young woman, I think you want to please a lot, so maybe you accept more of the criticism than you would as an older person. But criticism can be very wounding. It certainly was to me.
– Anjelica Huston
The Deputy Prime Minister will present a bill that is rambling, over-inflated, illogical and ridiculously cumbersome - funny coincidence, that.
– William Hague
It's funny - more people talk about my 'babe-dom' now than they did before I had a child. Whatever. I guess I'm a role model in hot pants now. That's cool!
– Lauryn Hill
I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny.
– Orlando Jones
That's how I found myself in the advertising world, with my partner. I was trying to get a tape of me doing something that I thought was funny.
– Orlando Jones
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
– Garrison Keillor
I'm limited, so, I kind of know where I fit as an actress. I kind of get it now, finally, after all of these years of trying to be a dramatic actress. I kind of think that'd I'd like to continue dealing with these things in a funny, lighter vein, but also truthful and honest.
– Diane Keaton
I mean the Americans in a funny way see themselves as an ongoing chosen race - it was the Jews and now it's the great American dream.
– Bruce Kent
I always felt like I could be funny, but there was a part of me that always judged actors so harshly... I thought all actors were dumb-that they must have serious emotional problems. Even if they don't, that's the perception I had of them. I didn't want anyone to see me that way.
– Lisa Kudrow
Until now, until I actually got into law class, I just never thought of it as being an interest for me, but it's really funny because now that I'm in law, I'm like 'Wow, I could be a lawyer.
– Lisa Leslie
The A's are held to the standard of the Yankees in a funny kind of way. That if they don't win the World Series it is regarded as a failure.
– Michael Lewis
The Leesburg Garden Club is a nest of Soviet fellow travelers clacking busybodies in a Soviet jellyfish front, sitting here in Leesburg oozing out their funny little propaganda and making nuisances of themselves.
– Lyndon LaRouche
I haven't seen it, but I know that [writer] Adam Herz jammed a lot of stuff into that script. I told him when I read it, 'Man, this is comedically relentless. These... raunchy's not the word, but it's close... scenarios that he comes up with, he just keeps coming up with them, and they're really funny, put in the right context. Incredibly funny.
– Eugene Levy
I mean, Jim's Dad is the character - you're not just laughing at what he's saying, you're laughing at who he is... On SCTV , we used to say, 'If somebody were to look at these scripts, they would wonder, who's investing money in putting this on?' Because you can't find a joke, you can't find, honestly, a funny line.
– Eugene Levy
So, listen, different strokes for different folks, some people just like the joke, some people like to hear the funny line. The joke is the thing, and it works for them. Airplane!, the Zucker brothers, they perfected that art form - just an hour and a half of great, funny jokes. Fabulous!
– Eugene Levy
We went through all the scenes and they became kind of funny and they expanded a little bit and because it seemed to be working so well in the movie, they added a couple of things later on in the movie and that's how it turned out.
– Eugene Levy
My mother was nuts. She was very funny. We got our sense of humor from her. My father had no sense of humor and they yelled at each other.
– Penny Marshall
I'm investing in a company that has patented wallet technology that will deodorize currency. That way people won't have to deal with money that smells funny.
– Moby
When he understands, as few others do, something of his home that is funny, or sad, or tragic, or cruel, or beautiful, or true, he knows he must do so as a stranger.
– Willie Morris
I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it.
– Eddie Murphy
Jazz is capable of doing much more than depicting the dope fiend and the drunk and the slinky gal. In our show there are many very funny sequences where we were able to use jazz as it can be used-in a happy way.
– Henry Mancini
Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning you got off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking.
– Gene Mauch
You get a lot of Johnnie Cochran roles. Those kind of things fall to you naturally because of the color of your skin. You have to give them what they want. Yeah, I was a black actor on the show and Johnnie Cochran came, but I had to learn how to do Johnnie Cochran, make it funny.
– Tim Meadows
It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent.
– Natalie Merchant
It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl.
– Al Michaels
I could become a free agent. I'd have to go to an American League team, like the Mets. That sounds funny, doesn't it?
– Paul Molitor
I consider myself very lucky. God has a funny way of bringing some things around and knocking you in the head with the ultimate destination. Something I should have achieved quite easily took me a long time to get around to. It came in His time, not mine.
– Jim Morris
It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind.
– Edmund S. Muskie
I really don't care about the response to my hair... this is just how my hair is. I don't take care of it, or comb it, or put anything in it, or style it or anything. When people comment on it, it is funny to me that it draws such attention. It makes me realize how insignificant that sort of thing is.
– Steve Nash
I spent one morning at breakfast with Neil on Bleeker Street in New York City, and when we were finished I was completely sold on Neil joining. He was incredibly funny and very committed to music. He wanted to be a full member of the band with equal billing etc. This made sense to me and so we became CSNY.
– Graham Nash
Pratfalls are always funny. A performer has to answer to himself. If you think something's funny, you've got to go out there and try. It's only by trial and error that you find out.
– Donald O'Connor
Here's my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what's funny about what you're doing.
– Roger von Oech
It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.
– Chuck Palahniuk
It's funny because people think we all know each other and hang out together, and that we all grew up together. Some of us obviously do know each other, and we're obviously very aware of each other. What's he doing now? Right. I see. Why didn't I get offered that? I see. But, I live in Melbourne and most of those guys are from Sydney. There's a much more high energy, actory clique going on in Sydney than there is in Melbourne.
– Guy Pearce
I realized by the time I turned 30, which happened this year, that I would be going out with girls and they would think I was really funny, but I would know absolutely nothing about them. I decided that's just not the way to go. I have tried to listen more and get to know the person I'm with.
– Matthew Perry
Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
– Matthew Perry
When I read the script of Chandler, I thought WOW I can really shake hands with this guy. Chandlers a sarcastic guy, dry, funny - a guy who's not comfortable unless he's joking and hiding the emotional stuff that's going on with him. And Yeah, I can relate to that a bit.
– Matthew Perry
My kids are so much more together than I ever was. They're my baby-sitters! It's funny having kids when you're young, because you grow up with them. There's something to be said for having them when you're young, and then having them again when you're 35 or 40 and have been through it all. I want to have one or two more.
– Lisa Marie Presley
Lee and Herring frequently had me dressed in lycra. I suppose it just looks funny on a fat bloke. I find it a bit inconvenient because you're all zipped in and can never go for a slash.
– Paul Putner
You could watch Laurel and Hardy for three minutes trying to get into a berth in a train. And that's what made Lucille Ball so popular. She's always doing funny rather than saying funny. The shows today say funny, but I don't see anybody doing funny.
– Michael Richards
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
– Will Rogers
When I worked with Robin Williams, now there is improv! He is just as funny as you think he is. We did at least five or six takes of every scene, improvising every scene differently. He was a riot.
– Stephen Root
And as I looked up, I was gazing on a hill, and in my spine I felt an icy, icy chill. And as I looked upon him, my heart was filled with fear. I was looking at a man sporting a funny crown, three nails, and a spear.
– Nate Ramer
If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.
– Jimmy Reed
The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.
– Charles Nelson Reilly
A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.
– Carl Reiner
I kinda feel like I know the funniest people. I guess Bill Murray. It's really, really hard for him to do wrong in my estimate. We just rented The Man Who Knew Too Little, and it's a pretty misguided movie. But there are things that he does that are so funny.
– Andy Richter
Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there.
– Andy Richter
It's so funny. Every time I sit down in the classroom, my book bag rings and it's my cell phone, and it's Joel (Schumacher) or Clint (Eastwood) going, 'Do you want to do this movie? - and I can't turn an opportunity like that down.
– Emily Rossum
He picks up on something - which is that whether you're a 50-year-old or an adolescent, you're on some kind of hormonal rollercoaster in those two age groups. So I'm not quite sure if it's serious comedy or funny drama.
– Geoffrey Rush
My family's always been really funny. I feel like comedy's hard. I feel like it's so important.
– Christine Taylor
Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.
– Billy Bob Thornton
I remember I autographed it to Mutt Lange, and I may only have put one t on Mutt. I mean, I'd never heard of such a name. I'm sure he must've thought that was quite funny. He must've known from that autograph, right off the bat, that I had no idea who he was.
– Shania Twain
Over the years I've worked with so many smart, funny, talented gay people, and I just don't think about it. They're my friends.
– Jonathan Taylor Thomas
That is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
– Gloria Vanderbilt
I saw the movie and I remember her, but we weren't friends. Since the first day that we got together we were such good friends. It was funny because sometimes the director, Linda [Mendoza], would have to stop and like stop the gossip, because when you are doing a movie you have to wait a lot until they were ready. But they have you right there in front of the camera doing nothing, so you start to talk. Then they call action and we were still talking.
– Sofia Vergara
I liked The Brady Bunch Movie but I didn't care for A Very Brady Sequel. The first one was funny and kind've clever. The sequel seemed like one joke and not very funny. Marcia was hot in both.
– Barry Williams
It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it. - about how a lot of his characters end up dying.
– Owen Wilson
It's funny when someone says to you 'you're hot' and all that, because I don't think of it in that way.
– Kate Winslet
I want Underoos. I want blankets with hobbits. I want all that stuff because I think it's funny.
– Elijah Wood
Everything they said about me was so full of lying. It wasn't funny. None of that stuff was true. I am totally sane. I didn't do drugs.
– Aileen Wuornos