Funny Quotes

The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.
– Elaine Agather
Funny how the new things are the old things.
– Rudyard Kipling
Funny business, a woman's career: the things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. It's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted.
– Joseph L. Mankiewicz
Talking perceptions, people. Do we really see each other for what we really are, or do we just see what we want to see, the image distorted by our own personal lenses? I lost someone today and the funny thing is, I don't even know who she was.
– Jeff Melvoin
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.
– Dennis Miller
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?
– Eleanor H. Porter
If you can't be funny, be interesting.
– Harold Ross
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
– George Bernard Shaw
You know, Stephen says, in the movies no one ever goes to the bathroom. They shave, they brush their teeth. He goes right at this sort of funny taboo we have about the bathroom, and he turned it into this nightmare, you know, your worst fear of what's in there.
– Lawrence Kasdan
You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
– Don Rickles
You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub - based on G-Dub - and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University.
– Kerry Washington
You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.
– David R. Ellis
You go through at least the first two years of Star Trek and you find some amazing stuff. Everything that was going on Gene put into the series. He just put strange costumes on the actors and painted them funny colours and left the same situation in.
– Majel Barrett
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.
– John Krasinski
You can't be a casual observer of something humorous - you have to engage, you have to find it funny for the relationship between actor and audience to work.
– Brendan Coyle
When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies. You hope to be a part of something that's smart, funny and in that Todd Phillips-vein. You want to make something like 'Superbad.' That movie was so good and so funny.
– Miles Teller
When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is - and it's because comic acting isn't taken seriously enough. It's a discipline. You know instantly - either you're funny and getting the laughs, or you're not.
– Chris O'Dowd
Well, I did Marlene 15 years ago and that's in the style. It's somehow similar and not similar because Marlene was much more aggressive, funny and sad.
– Maximilian Schell
We've finally told the world that this is sports entertainment, and I think one of the best forms of entertainment is anything that's fun or funny, something that you really enjoy watching or listening to.
– Jerry Lawler
We try to... we are, I suppose to a certain extent all affected and erm, that is both funny and sad I think.
– Tony Hancock
We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.
– Shawn Wayans
Those who knew Lincoln described him as an extraordinarily funny man. Humor was an essential aspect of his temperament. He laughed, he explained, so he did not weep.
– Doris Kearns Goodwin
This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets.
– Luke Treadaway
They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
– Casey Stengel
There's nothing less funny than someone who looks cool. There's nothing more unappealing.
– Eric Wareheim
The townspeople outside the reservations had a very superior attitude toward Indians, which was kind of funny, because they weren't very wealthy they were on the fringes of society themselves.
– James Welch
The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny.
– Jason Alexander
The space and light up there in Norfolk is wonderfully peaceful. I find myself doing funny things like gardening, and cooking, which I rarely do in London.
– Jeremy Northam
The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny.
– Hugh Grant
The promos with all of the beautiful women probably attracted some men, but the mystery story line is pretty cool. It's got that dark edge, and people will watch anything funny.
– James Denton
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
– J. K. Rowling
The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome.
– Amanda Seyfried
The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.
– Mindy Kaling
The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.
– Joan Jett
The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to.
– Paula Danziger
The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic.
– Dominic Chianese
Success is always less funny than failure.
– Jon Ronson
Sometimes, the other characters are too normal and then you start to be brought back to reality but then Luna shows up and she is just so funny and cool and honest and slightly mad and she's all that matters. She is 100% true. She puts on no shows, because she is so comfortable with herself.
– Evanna Lynch
Some really good things kind of swing both ways and I like to see people that can swing really, really, really sad and horrible and terrible and really, really, really beautiful and funny.
– Beth Henley
Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
– Seth MacFarlane
So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny.
– Todd Solondz
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
– Adam Sandler
Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.
– Allen Klein
Since it's based on my parents, it's more emotionally close to me than some of my more surreal plays. And then I like the balance of the comic and the sad. It should play as funny, but you should care about the characters and feel sad for them.
– Christopher Durang
Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.
– Ben Stein
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
– Paul Lynde
People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct.
– Phillip Noyce
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny.
– Bryan White
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.
– William Feather
One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just don't like it when characters do things that are funny to the writer, but you don't know why they're doing it and it doesn't make any sense.
– Glenn Howerton
No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12.
– Rowan Atkinson
My size has helped make me an amazing performer too. The cliche of the Funny Fat Friend: I absolutely was that character - I am that character... It's a complicated bag of tools I acquired, and I've put them all to work onstage.
– Beth Ditto
My mother and father were very strange people. They tried to be funny which is always very sad to me.
– Jonathan Winters
My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic.
– Eric Stonestreet
My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if I was the funny guy I could do that easier.
– Jason Gann
My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.
– Mike Myers
Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching.
– Ivan Reitman
Literature has drawn a funny perimeter that other art forms haven't.
– Jonathan Safran Foer
Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.
– Julia Roberts
Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool.
– Britney Spears
John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning.
– Richard Widmark
It's to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that's my method.
– Edward Hopper
It's so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn't have any money, and my only car was mom's Hyundai.
– Criss Angel
It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.
– Martha Plimpton
It's not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn't have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn't have much to do with reality.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
It's funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film 'Death Sentence,' and I got back with him again in 'Inside Llewyn Davis.'
– Garrett Hedlund
It's funny, because in drama school, my greatest strength was my range. So my early career was like that: I played all kinds of different characters.
– Lance Reddick
It's funny to be discovered by a lot of people who didn't know you before. People always used to say, 'Do you shop at Home Depot?' or 'Does your kid go to such and such school?' They want to know why they know me, even if they don't know my name. I don't think that's a bad thing, by the way I think it's nice to be kind of anonymously famous.
– Terry O'Quinn
It's funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: art, design, culture stuff, film - online, and how in the online world, you're instantly global.
– Mike Mills
It's funny I'm in some ways hopelessly masculine, but I don't fish, I don't hunt, I'm not that into sports. I can't fix a car. I think it's my point of view and the way I see the world.
– Corey Stoll
It's funny - nowadays people that are famous get chased by paparazzi. They have this fame, but they don't have the money to hide from it.
– Matt LeBlanc
It's both funny and sad which seem to me to be the two basic ingredients of good comedy.
– Tony Hancock
It's a funny thing about me. I don't have any interest in food most of the time now, although when I was a kid I was always hungry.
– Alan Ladd
It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever.
– Rosario Dawson
If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.
– Tom Hiddleston
If you have spent any time with Barack Obama, you know he's a funny guy. He's a good guy. He knows sports.
– Edward G. Rendell
If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
– Casey Affleck
I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
– Steve Martin
I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble!
– Leslie Nielsen
I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing, I'm probably not the first person on their list - the weird, quirky, funny girl.
– Whitney Cummings
I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to me for romantic advice. I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself.
– Olivia Wilde
I'm afraid that this is me getting on my high horse now but we have yob television, yob newspapers, and funny enough whereas it was my mum and dad, school, police, church who used to set the standards, now it's tabloids and yob television who set the standards by which people live.
– Gordon Strachan
I'd love to date somebody cool, fun, funny.
– Rihanna
I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.
– Sophia Bush
I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm funny I'll go on trips with them - I'll do all sorts of stuff.' But the momming? I'm not made for that. I have a really good mom I know what she put into it.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human.
– Rainn Wilson
I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way.
– Mo Rocca
I think movies glamorize violence, in the sense that they make it in a way that it's either cool or funny.
– Matthew Vaughn
I think it's really important for celebrities to use their power of money and fame to get their voices out there. It's funny to me that we're expected to keep quiet just because of who we are. Why do I lose my right to speak my mind because I'm famous?
– Lisa Edelstein
I think I'm too cynical for L.A. My sense of humor doesn't go down well here, which probably affects my love life. I need to have a laugh track following me around so people know I'm trying to be funny.
– Teddy Thompson
I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience what things are funny and not.
– Keenen Ivory Wayans
I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.
– Anthony Anderson
I read the script for Wonder Boys, and I said that was almost perfect, it was so classy, cool and funny. It's a really specific thing. We stuck to it, it turned out good and a lot of people liked it.
– Robert Downey, Jr.
I never liked apples. In fact, when I was a little girl, my mom wanted to give me apples in my lunch box and I would ask for green peppers. So bizarre... It's funny - I don't have an apple a day, but I can say that I have a few a week.
– Lana Parrilla
I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
– Jo Brand
I love the script and I just thought it was a great role. Like I say, it's like this - the script is like this sad, funny, desperate love song to the lost American man.
– Oliver Platt
I love the sad songs with their maudlin, self-deprecating, almost funny lyrics. As an Englishman, they make a lot of sense.
– Teddy Thompson
I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.
– Peter Gallagher
I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!
– Wesley Snipes
I love 'Goodfellas' because it's a great movie - it's funny and there is action at perfect points. I just think Martin Scorsese makes everyone look really cool.
– Booboo Stewart